Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Hey everybody, finally managed to get some time to blog again...
hmmm, been rather kinda busy lately,
anyway I'm feeling so drifted away from everything, friends, church etc...
it just doesnt feel the same anymore, I see everyone enjoying having lots fun and all but I dont seem to feel any of the warmth, I feel so cold at time, its seems like a blizzard had collided into me even though it summertime...
I feel so alone, like all my friends seem like a hi & bye kinda thing to me, feels like no one cares for me anymore... I feel like an invisible dagger that's piercing through my heart...
did I suddenly turn into a foreign object to everyone??... or is it just me fighting off this gollum which is myself all along??...
I really love the bonding I had with all the people in church... TCC, LEGION, CATHECHISTS, MUSIC MINISTRY... but it jus seem that I'm out of this circle and I love to re-enter it, but it seems like there's this barrier that's holding me back
feels like I'm out in this pacific ocean alone and struggling to keep afloat on the surface and shouting for help, but no-one seem to hear my pleas and drop a lifevest to save me...
what's wrong with me??... I know I got my flaws but everone have their own flaws too...
maybe I dont express it publicly but I love every friend that I have deep inside the bottom of my heart...
I just feel extremely down at the moment, even though I may be smiling on the outside but I'm feeling down on the inside...
call it depression etc...
guess no-one sees it anyway............