Saturday, December 31, 2005
I went to raffles city today with John, Aloy Ng and samuel...
stared raining very heavily...
then next I notice that my wallet was missing, must have slipped out while I sat on the floor waiting for the rain to simmer down...
what rotten luck, it seems like misfortune seems to bestow on me one misfortune after another...
sigh =(
Friday, December 30, 2005
there's a 50% off sale at Swee Lee yesterday and today...
the youth of nativity met up to do some major cleaning up for all of our youth rooms and some refurbishment work to the rooms...
alot of people from the various groups showed up to help out, people from the lectors, legion of mary, TCC, alter boys and music ministry...
then went for the swee Lee sale with some of the guys, namely Zac, Aloy Ng & Lee, Samuel, Ben yeo, daryl, paul, Mark and a few of the mm girls...
by the time we reached there, many things were sold out, the guys couldnt get any pedals at all thanks to a customer who bought all of the pedals...
I managed to get a Fender tuner for $32.50 after 50% off...
the guys bought some strings and accessories...
the girls bought 2 bass among them...
after that hang out with Ben yeo and marcus and paul at ben's house tried out the tuner, yay finally can tuned my guitar on my own...
played with guys ps2, crap around till midnight...
met up with the guys, namely Zac Loo, Aloy ng, Samuel and ben yeo the next day at 9.30am to rush to buy the effects pedals at swee lee again...
arrived early, happy to see a smaller than expected crowd who were already queuing up...
when the shop opened at 11am, the guys rushed to grabbed the pedals, sam and ben got hold of the last 2 crybaby pedals available, the other customers were like "shit man" and had the disappointed look on their faces... the guys also bought various effects pedals...
all of us went wild as all were happy to get what they wanted...
If I fall along the way
pick me up and dust me off.
and if I get too tired to make it
be my breath so I can walk
If I need some other love
give me more than I can stand
and when my smile gets old and faded
wait around I'll smile again
shouldn't be so complicated
just hold me and then
just hold me again
can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
you're breaking me in
and this is how we will end
with you and me bent
If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
could you paint me better off
could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I'm jaded
just phoning it in
just breaking the skin
start bending me
It's never enough
I feel all your pieces
start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in
shouldn't be so complicated
just touch me and then
just touch me again
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/I can't seem
to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
so insecure
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
distracting/reacting
against my will I stand beside my own reflection
it`s haunting how i cant seem...
to find myself againmy walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
so insecure
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing confusing what is real
there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing what is real
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/confusing what is real
this lyrics reflect on how vulnerable I can be, feeling so insecure, confused with what that is real...
sometimes I ask myself if I'm really confused or something or is it that I'm just thinking too much?...
I got alot of things on my mind recently, sometime I ask my self if there's any significance for my existence...
I'm getting so emotional right now, but who's gonna comfort me?...
what a crybaby I am, despite being strong physically and spiritually, I have failed miserably in being emotionally strong... I feel so down right now that it seems like I'm in a pitch dark tunnel without a lamp, seeing the people who had lamp beside me, however nobody seems willing to share with me their light to guide me out of the tunnel...
I may look like I'm alright, but deep inside I'm hurting, a wound that never seems to heal...
If I fall, will you pick me up?...
his house is kinda cosy, spacious...
1st came the beer, then the cigars, followed by the hard liquors (gin, vodka, tequila)
at 1st I was kinda bored, then sat around with the guys, drank like nobody business, bradly, mitchell and andre, crapping around, we made a fish drunk by catching a fish from the pond and then putting it into a vodka bottle, the fish got "drunk" and swam lob-sided...
had a 1st try on cigars and cigars arent even addictive at all, luckily...
then played the 007 bang game, losers had to gun down a splash of tequila...
John puked after a few rounds, I also puked, then John puked again...
among the people that were high and wasted were, Mark Chia, Aloy Lee, Charlotte, raymond, Christina and so on...
people who are high are extremely hilarious, Christina exclaiming that the chicken wings were ugly, telling us "secrets", believing that the globe is actually square, damn cute la, then came the HIGH and vulgar Aloy Lee, who said things like "fu*k the police la, I'll show them my JOHNSON," "ask me a question I'm not high," "Manuel how big is your Johnson?"
really wanna thank John for accommodating us for the night... what a great Christmas...
=)
rushed to "the body shop" to get christina's present, the hougang mall branch didn't had anymore stock on what I intended on getting and had to rush all the way to the heartland mall branch to grab the last set available, luckily, paid for it, had it wrapped up and rush off to my senior buddy's house for a bbq in the evening...
then rushed off at 9 plus to church to prepare for the christmas paegeant, my role was simeon, the chief-priest...
the paegeant started at around 11pm, everything went smoothly, my scene came and I had to recite this paragraph "soverign lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in sight of all people, a light for revelation to the gentiles and for your people Israel"...
after the paegeant, rush home for a bath and change into some attire for the dinner and dance...
started exchanging presents, blah blah blah...
the D&D atarted at around 2am, at 1st it was a little boring, then as time went on, the "chill out" mood began to sang in and the hall became like a dance floor, obviously I dont have a girlfriend to dance with... but some of my friends (girls of cos) were sporting enough to have a short dance with me, I'm sorry if I accidentally step on anyone's feet that night...
some nice music were played, kinda like prom night... every couple were dancing, I was alone observing my friends and thinking, man this feeling of being alone sucks...
everything came to and end at around 6am, I wish that it could have been longer...
there was so many things that I had in my mind... maybe I'm destined to be a bachelor for life or is it purely just not my time yet...
anyway it started raining heavily soon after the D&D was over...
Saturday, December 24, 2005
the past few week days were all done on shopping, went to salvation army to do some shopping with Amanda Phua, the zacs, aloy and EJ, got a blazer there...
then on wednesday met up with Zac, Michael and samuel for present shopping at orchard, polled in our money together, got alot of present for all the friends, leaving us broke...
on thursday met up with my TEG people for shopping, namely Leonard, Darren and Dennis, got some stuffs and I managed to get a long-sleeve shirt from topshop...
friday, got lots of sweets and chocolates from a wholesale shop, then met up with Michael and
Ben Yeo for present shopping again, they got their shirts for the dinner and dance, they tried on some marvelous shirts at x-square shop at paragon, I got some of my final presents before rushing back to church for the full dress rehearsal for the pageant play, finally got my costume, quite a nice fit and the rehearsal went on well enough not to go into overtime...
probably gonna get some last minute shopping done later...
anyway merry christmas to all...
=)
look thru all the shops at penisula plaza, before settling for a takamine g-240 acoustic guitar, decent enough for a beginner for $205... damn happy la, finally got my own guitar...
the next day went over to Zac Loo's house for him to help me do some customizing to make my right-handed acoustic guitar to a left-handed guitar as I'm left handed, swiched the strings over, did abit of filling so that the strings fit perfectly...
thanks alot to zac for helping me to customize my new guitar to a lefty, and also to encourage me to learn to play the guitar left-handed even though everyone else was against the idea...
had to go back to church on both evenings for the Pageant Play rehearsal...
second night was the bbq, didnt get to eat any bbq food as I was having a sore throat, alot of people came, people from the Youth council, TCC, Music ministry...
played soccer with the guys at the basketball court, the floor was rough like hell man, playing soccer was very comical too...
thats about it for the chalet...
Friday, December 23, 2005
alright the previous post was about the bbq...
moving on, next was the JB trip, 9-11 december...
its gonna be a draggy post so forgive me if I am long-winded
Nativity JB camp, THE BEST CAMP EVER, eclipsing all the other camps I have attended!!!
DAY 1
assembled early in the morning, board the bus to JB, stopover at a shopping mall in JB for lunch, had dominos pizza for lunch with Shaun, Moses and Luke... Shaun went on to buy loads of tidbits for the chalet which I happened to bunk in with him, the snacks were enough to fill a big cardboard box la...
then we reach the Tanjong Puteri resort and were designated into various groups, my chalet had Jeremy, Emmanuel .J, Luke, Shaun, Samuel, Thomas, Leonard, Ben Choong (he's in the army now)... seems like a great time ahead of us...
had those typical introductory-icebreakers games blah blah blah...
ate lots of shaun's tidbits at the chalet's dining table whenever we had free time, causing every soul in the chalet to be down with a sore-throat the next day...
followed by dinner next, then had this spritual session where we were suppose to be in Christ shoes, having to go thru the passion, struggle our way thru, carrying our burdens, worries, things tat we couldn't let go and then offload it on the journey to the middle of the conference room (Birdie room) where there was a cup of wine representing a new covenant with candles around and each had to take a sip from the cup and journey to the "cross" where each "die" and Renaissance, which means reborn with the congregation (buddies) to embrace you... a very heart wrenching experience but yet a good way to set things anew...
after that, had some praise and worship, followed by the 1st hugging session among all of us initiated by Father Bosco... really enjoyed tat moment where I could feel all the heart-warming hugs from many of the people... so touched =)
DAY 2
woke up, wash up, breakfast, had the 1 session of the day the trust fall thingy, where one had to stand on a raise chair and then fall back towards your friends to catch hold of you, its damn hilarious la...
I got to demostrate the fall 1st, my heart started pounding as I stand on the chair, got the cue from the facil for me to fall back and there I fall, alamak!, like falling back onto a mattress la cos maybe the guys catching me were damn strong la...
then everybody had to do the trust fall, no drama action from the guys, but the girls on the other hand were like trembling when they went up the chair and Christina were sabotaged by her group mates by stacking the chair higher when it was her turn, she was like "no way am I gonna get up and fall back on that chair man," after much coaxing she finally pluck up enough courage to take on the challenge, the expression on her face was freaking funny la when she was falling back, a round of applause ofr her...
then there was Grace and Theresa turn in their respective groups to take the fall, and each were trembling ontop of the chair thinking if they wanted to take the fall or not... father Bosco had to coax them personally for them to take the fall and the expression on Grace's and Theresa's faces were priceless man...
Disclaimer- this blog posting had no intention to offend or ridicule anyone, the sole intention of the blogger was to poke some fun and maybe fool around and kid with you =)
after that, we had the game where the strong people had to form a circle by armlocking each other with the innocent teamates inside the circle protected... the aim was for us to not let the circle be broken by the Facils, failed attempts to not break the circle at 1st, EJ got pulled out and he pinned one facil towards the wall as he got pulled out... the next few rounds were full of struggles as we were tickled pulled and "manhandled" by the facils, the final round came, where we had the right collaboration among all of us and the facils tried so hard to break the circle apart violently but failed to break us as we seem unbreakable... We are one NATIVITY, yay...
the human pyramid rock too, there were the carriers and the flyers, I was a carrier and Theresa was my flyer, I'll always remember who was behind me, Gabriel Patrick (carrier) and germaine (flyer) cos Germaine was like petrified and kept pushing forward by holding on to theresa, adding alot of added weight pressure onto me, then all of the carriers managed to last for the entire duration of a song, I suffered shoulder aches from tat la...
ok move on to the night, spent the whole night to write for almost everyone in the camp, I counted, I probably wrote 60 warm fuzzies, in the middle of the night did some sneaking with my roomates to around for fun... then I fell asleep back at the dorm while writing a fuzzy, only to wake up to see Samuel and Aloy Lee feeling high, we went crazy and marched around the muddy field singing army songs, hanged around crapping around with each other waiting for the sunrise, 7am came we were still half-awake, when we wanted to wake the rest of the guys up the couch and the bed was so tempting tat I went to the couch and was sleeping like a log immediately, aloy lee and samuel went for the bed immediately...
Day 3
sore throat still had to shout praises to god along the road if not no breakfast, so torturous...
had the most touching session of the camp after breakfast, the washing of the feet for your friend, as I sat there waiting, looking on as each of my friend got pulled up to get their feet wash and washing another friend's feet, I sat there thinking when will it be my turn?... who is gonna pull me out and who am I gonna pull out?...
I saw mark washed Christina's feet and I didnt think she was gonna pull me out, but well she did, I was extremely touched and tears fell and rolled down my cheeks in streams that seems to flow endlessly...she said prayer and washed my feet dried it and had a big warm hearted hug, then I pulled out Luke to wash, said a prayer, wash and dried and shared a heartfelt hug... thats about it... went home fell sick immediately...
I'll miss the camp and can still feel the camp's atmosphere...
nativity youths is the force to be reckoned with...
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Hey all, it's my 1st time having my own blog and this is the 1st time I'm blogging...
hmmm, some say blogging is such an utter waste of time, I was skeptical about having a blog too at 1st thinking that blogs are silly...
after much thoughts, I was thinking why not have a blog as it may be a good way to empty my burdens or the happenings in my life at this blogs...
so here I go, the month of December, so busy, TCC BBQ, JB camp, legion chalet, shopping for Christmas presents and clothes, attending Parties and so on...
so I'll start off with TCC BBQ, even though it happened a couple of weeks back, I organised it, with the help of Sebas Yeokoh, Luke, Zac Cheam, Christina, Grace, Theresa... Shopping for th groceries, preparing the food at Buise's house... the BBQ was great with the company of the majority of the TCC members and friends of TCC, we broke a table unfortunately, we were playing a musical chair thing at the end and I lost balance and Louis sat on me la...