Saturday, January 07, 2006
why am I blogging in the middle of the day?... was meant to hang out with Sandra and some other friends in the afternoon, but got caught up with church activities which ended not long ago...
well this goes out to a group of people whom I think I used to be very close to, whom I regard as my part of my extended family...
well I got nothing else to do, nowhere to go, no friends to hang out with, no commitments to attend to...
I'm out of it, I'm not in, I'm not close to them anymore, I suddenly feel one arm-length away... It's like I'm in a world of my own right now...
is it because that I've changed?, is it my own wrongdoings that cause me to be like that?...
I feel I dont deserve such an awkward treatment, show me that u care for me. that u guys are indeed my siblings...
I feel so insecure right now...
I know that I have done some things that aren't righteous in the past, but I'm not prefect either, I would like to apologise if I have done anybody wrong, but things have changed...
it seems like they don't want me anymore, like I'm not a part of them anymore...
I havent fought with them nor quarrell nor argue nor piss them off, but things arent the same...
they are so near but yet they seems so far away...
I feel like I'm crashing and burning out...